About ME
Im.
sad sometimes
but im very happy too
like when i do simple things
like sleeping or deboning chicken while listening to music
arent simple tasks the best? you dont question them
they relax your soul
but im still not happy because im being numbed
weird things like handwriting and math
nobody taught me those so i had to teach myself
i taught myself wrong and it hurts
depending on how you look at it im both retard and smart
but i want you to be happy, okay?
heres the things i enjoy i guess
- friendly people
- logical things
- going outside
- watching the wildlife
- working with computers
- building things
- girls that are understanding
they lobotomized me
it hurts
but i only feel,
when she says something
and i get this feeling
like nothing else
a race of adrenaline
its love, the truest of love.
too bad i was a prick to her.
but I learned to not be a prick the hard way
only she understood
or maybe she didn't, nobody ever will
but i trusted ber
i felt obligated to
but she wants me out of my life like everyone else
and now all my buttraped ass has is a computer
and thoughts
and they say "i want to have children"
and "i want to love and be loved back"
and on the outside i am cold, very cold
a blank, floridated stare, but I control that stare
and I open up to very few
but on the inside i feel only rage
or I weep
or I am simply content.
and maybe somebody doesnt love you
maybe your parents beat you
or ruined your mind
or maybe you were raped
but just know that out there
somebody exists
and that somebody would be willing to sit next to you
and say nothing
but would be there for you just so you're not alone
and i wont judge
and even as hateful as I am
i know its not your fault
i know you know youll be judged for it
and i know what got you there
and maybe youll say thats just who you are
but deep inside you just want what you were promised
- a lover of the opposite sex
- family
- friends
- and money.
and i know who took it from us.
but i still think youre okay.
